3. Ossenburger Memorial Wing

I'm the most terrific liar. It's awful. Where I lived at Pencey, I lived in the Ossenburger Memorial Wing of the new dorms. It was only for juniors and seniors. I was a junior you see. My roommate, Stradlater was a senior though. Anyway my dorm was named after some guy, Ossenburger. You should’ve seen him, old Ossenburger that is; he owns some undertaking business, weird I know, where you can get your family members buried for five crumby bucks. He made a load of dough. Anyway, we had some ceremony when he did this speech which lasted for about 5 goddamn billion hours, it really did, and then they named a dorm after him! He did nothing and had a dorm after him. He really did! He's one crumby little phoney. So anyway, that’s where I live.

When I got back I started reading my book 'Out of Africa' because the library gave me the goddamn wrong book. Daft I know. I thought it would stink but it turned out to be pretty good, it really did. But my favourite author is D.B., my brother. You know he lives in Hollywood now. Anyway, I put on my new Red Hunting hat and sat down and started reading my book 'Out of Africa'. I'd read it already you know, but I wanted to read certain parts over again. I'd only read about three pages when I heard someone coming through the shower curtains. I knew it was Ackley; he's always goddamn barging in on me.

He's one hell of a goddamn sonnuvabitch. He was always picking up your stuff and putting it back in the wrong place! Nosy as hell. He really was. Then he started asking about fencing. He didn't even like fencing, he just wanted me too look up from my book. What a phoney. He came over and stood right in my light, I'd been reading the same sentence for like 2 million years now so I decided to look up anyway. He was exactly the kind of guy that would do that. Anyway me and him had a conversation before Stradlater burst in and asked me to borrow my hound's tooth jacket. My jacket! I’d hardly even worn it and all. He convinced me he wouldn't stretch it so I decided to lend it too him. He went out to the can with no top on and his toilet kit under his arm. He always did that. Posing sonnuvabitch! He loved doing that because he thought he was a big, strong guy. I will admit it and all, he had one hell of a body!